Heard from the woman who sold me the enV3. According to her, the phone cannot be released because she already closed her account with Verizon. Doesn't make sense, but there it is. On the bright side, she immediately refunded my money and told me to keep the phone and charger. So if nothing else, [a] I learned a bit more about the business end of cell phones, and [b] I got a free battery and charger out of the deal. Kinda sucks, but I'll live.
In the mean time, I won an auction for another blue enV3. Cost a little more than the first one, but the seller says it's ready to be activated. We'll see. I'd love to have it by the weekend, but I'm not counting on it.